I love poland , now

Beating me down

ok now im not doing it alone. hilman was the accomplice, you know had to settle at one of those blocks a woodlands and get down with the drink already, it is so tiring to walk around woodlands, distances are astronomical. So because of my insistence, influence somebody is downing his first foray of alcohol, beer ,vodka. First step solved , at least i dont have to drink alone, and splitting the cost too.Taking it to another level, ill have to follow some club-goer to accompany me.

anyway my gpa was a terrible wreck of unfortunate tragedy. accumulated by o.5 deductions ,can you imagine having 6average per 4 module , thats like minus 12. crazy . now i really got to discipline myself to being there before the fasci does or 914 a safe bet. at least better than people who come for 1 week once. i cant balk or despair cos its my lzy indulgent fault. just get b or a for daily grades, and b+ for uts...somehow retake those fucked up e+ fasci faulted modules. and maybe i cud end up with a 3 at the end of 11/2 years more. my chance at local uni i can fucked out, fuck my life, even those paikia losers can get 2.6/8....im a pathetic unsuspecting lamer.

maybe social events, gatherings, money and intoxication will make me feel like im not losing. which also mean i have to keep a part-timer like some people can. end of the day i dont want to be some ass-fucked loser who dont have an outlet to cast out my heart-ache, already what i imagined and ambitioned for writing and sport ig, cant even publish a single shit of my work...maybe my friend is right im such control-freak, i should just take things in stride, experience for nothing, maybe not what i imagined ,or always wanted, but i can get by...at least make something happen.